Yesterday, I broke every rule I made for myself as a mother. I vowed to never shame my children. I did. I promised not to lose control and yell at them. I did. I committed to be a safe person that would not scare my girls. I wasn't and I did. And, I swore that I would do my best to send them off to school without chaos or tears. I didn't.
What humbles me and amazes me is that I saw the most beautiful expression of God's grace, forgiveness, and love yesterday. God uses any means at His disposal to get our hearts. He used my girls. I wronged them. But, when I picked them up from school, they were all smiles and open arms, happy to be with me. I have no doubt that they are still affected by my ill-behavior, but rather than push me away (which I deserved), they embraced me. They loved me. They looked for me. They wanted me. And, amazingly enough, they still trusted me.
God is like that with each of us. We offend Him with our sin, yet He longs to love us, embrace us, look for us, and want us. The words of this song (How He loves us by Kim Walker) truly say it best:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
so Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
when I think about the way He loves us, Oh, how He loves us...
I hope you will join me in this Ocean of Grace today. If we are to sink, my it be there.
sniff sniff...beautiful honesty. i think we have all been there. thanks for the encouragement rach.
ReplyDelete"They still trusted me."
ReplyDeleteYou're a good mom, Rachael. I don't doubt it for a moment. I'm sorry it was a tough day. I think it might be in the air...?
ps: if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking >> gah I wish I could write songs like that!
It is very humbling to be a parent! Check out Kari Jobe's song called "Healer"--- So encouraging!
ReplyDelete